Well, we are already 2 weeks in to 2018. Happy New Year! I am a little behind with my New Year post, but I guess better late than never.
The arrival of 2018 for me ends what has been a complicated and tough year. 2017 had some highs and some pretty low lows, but I survived. At the beginning of 2017 I had recently completed counselling for a really bad period of anxiety and depression which had started over 18 months before in 2015, after a series of tough times. Things were starting to get better for me and I was slowly starting to manage my anxiety and I was having more happy days than days in deep depression.
I also started my new job setting up an interiors brand in Jan, it was really exciting and I got to choose the the name, select and purchase the product, set out the business strategy and marketing plan and currently run it day to day.
In may we moved to a lovely new build, just a rental at the moment, but it is on a lovely estate and it has never been lived in. It is also just 5 minuets walk from my friend Sarah's, who is also my Weight Watchers coach ( I have been a helper at her meeting for 3 years now). We spent a lovely summer together walking a lot round the countryside and at the beach and spending time with her kids, while Phil did the harvest at work, which means he works like 100 hour weeks.
My best friend of 33 years' first child, my beautiful niece Francesca, arrived in October, which was one of the best highs of the year. She is just gorgeous and I am so proud of my best friend, she is such a great mummy. I only wish we could have had our children at the same time. That's how we met, technically we were bump buddies, as our parents me at antenatal classes, we were born 4 days apart (she was late, I was early and it has changed since!). We have been the best of friends ever since. She is my sister.
September was a tough month for my family for very personal reasons, lets just say I have never experience something so harrowing in my life and unfortunately it isn't over for us, but I have put that away in a box until later this year. It set my anxiety and depression off again, but this time I did have the skills and techniques to help deal with it and overcame the strength of the emotions in a faster time frame, which is great. I started to feel better after a few weeks, or so I thought. Just before Christmas I had a massive panic attack. I have had mini ones before and managed to breath myself out of it. This one lasted for 2 hours and I literally felt like I was having a heart attack. I called an ambulance, it took 45 minutes for them to get to me, but they were fab when they arrived. They made me tea, reassured me, helped me breath through the panic attack and took my vitals until I felt better. It was a really scary few hours, I truly thought I was going to die. So it seems that sometime when I think I am ok, I am just masking the feelings and it comes out in a different ways, so I have to be mindful of that too.
Christmas was awesome. We spent the evening before Christmas Eve with Phil's parents, his sister and fiancé and had a lovely Christmas dinner together. Then on Christmas Eve my middle Brother Chris travelled down so he was with us for Christmas Day. We had such a chilled day, we walked the dogs, opened presents, had pastries for breakfast and were playing wist and drinking port by 11am! We ate our started for lunch and then had our main Christmas mean late afternoon, then more cards, a Christmas film and lounged out. Boxing Day we were joined by my parents and Phil's parents for cold turkey, chunky chips, pickles and salad. It was such a nice day and we played on the Wii and had a good laugh. Just what Christmas should be about.
For New Years eve we broke with our usual tradition of a Chinese takeaway and a film until midnight when we watch the fireworks in London on BBC1, to spend it round at Sarah's with her fiancé Glenn and her two kids. We took nachos for a starter, Sarah made Chilli and then we had a rich pud! Lots of prosecco was consumed and we spend the evening playing Cards Against Humanity (without the kids!), which was hilarious, and then we saw the new year in.
So here we are in 2018! I have so much optimism and positivity around 2018, and I have designs on very big dreams. This is the year that I am going to change my job, build my freedom business so I can work full time from home and we going to start trying for a baby! First hurdle is changing my job so that I am happy, have job security as my current role is uncertain and then we can start looking forward to being a family of 3! I can't bloody wait.